Challenges! I used to think I knew what those were until I became a full-time caregiver for my sibling who is schizophrenic. In the late spring of 2021, my family suffered two losses. Two of my sisters passed away from COVID-19. One of those sisters was the primary caregiver for my brother who suffers from schizophrenia. She had been his caregiver for more than 20 years, so it is safe to say that they had a routine. Before that sister passed, she was also suffering with an illness that caused her to slowly deteriorate. She needed care, but she continued to do all that she could to continue to care for my brother. After she passed, another sister attempted to care for my brother, while the rest of the family settled two estates and tried to get our family back on track.
During my sisters’ illnesses, my brother was incarcerated for some small infraction, but because he had been noncompliant with his medication, he was left to linger in jail unmedicated and without mental health care for months. After he was finally admitted to a mental health facility and after his charges were dropped, he was released. I moved back home to be his support. That was back in 2023. This has been the longest time that I have spent with him since we were children. I was well aware of the fact that he suffered from schizophrenia, but that was just a word on a piece of paper. My family hardly ever called the illness by its name.
Today, schizophrenia is a presence in my daily life. It is the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning and the last thing I think about at night. It is the monster hiding under the bed at night. It is always there. From time to time, it rears its ugly head. On good days, there is no monster. My brother is clear, funny and very loving. Those are the days and the times that keep me going. On bad days, it is all I can do to keep moving forward, crying throughout the day when I have a moment to relieve some of the pressure.
Being a caregiver for someone with schizophrenia is the hardest and most challenging thing I have ever had to face. Still, each day I find that it is making me stronger and teaching me to have compassion in every situation, good and bad. While I wish I could cure my brother’s illness, I know that I cannot. I also know that I love him, and that the only way out of this situation is through it. Pray, and keep moving forward.
